lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
