Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
