ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
