He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
