My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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