I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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