just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
