You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
