I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize