whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
