oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm both gender and math confused
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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