That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
