I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
