so explain again why im purple
no
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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