fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
