My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He has the fingertips of a God
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