ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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