Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
