The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
