She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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