She's JV to your varsity
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
