Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
