so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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