I want to stick my p in your. b.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?