Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
