i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
