you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize