I got chris browned last night
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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