i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
