There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
