my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
