hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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