You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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