when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
