Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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