My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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