What a fucking waste of an outfit
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
