Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
In the future we'll all be gay
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
