my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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