i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
