The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize