OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
