The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
