Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Buhtt sex?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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