Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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