We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I need a beard to bite.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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