I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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