Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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