tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
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Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize