Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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