dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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