Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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