cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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