My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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