He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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